Posted in ESSAYS

The Night I Stopped Saying, “Good Night”

Isn’t it cute to always hear a little girl saying, “Good night, ma.” or “Good night, dad.”?

Believe me or not, I used to be a cute little girl who always bid my parents, ‘Good night’. I do that every, single, night… and then I stopped.

When I stopped, I am not a cute little girl anymore. I ended up crying at night silently, and sob a little harder every time I hear my younger sister say good night to my parents and gets a response. I remember at that time, I asked myself, “Why does she get a response while I don’t?”

You see, there’s jjust me and my sister, but as a kid, I can’t help but wonder why can they provide a response to my sister and no simple reply for me? And so, I decided to stop, thinking, “If they don’t want to greet me ‘good night’, then no more ‘good nights’.”

I did not hate my sister for that. It’s not her fault that she’s more likeable, sociable and charming. Besides, that’s always been the role of the youngest in the family. While I, as the eldest, should always be the responsible one and the open-minded one. But, there always come a time that the openness of our mind, no matter how vast, always reaches its limits. And when it do, we become curious and so, we raise questions. And if we don’t get answers, we get upset.

Every time I think of my younger self at that time, I feel upset, I feel like crying. I pity myself because I know, most of the time that I say  ‘Good night’, I know they can hear me.  It’s just that, they do not listen.

Good nights were replaced by sobs at night. One night, I did not know that my mom sneaked in into our room and caught me crying silently. I can’t remember anymore how I opened up about how I feel about my parents. All I can remember were the long sobs, heavy breathing and tears rolling down from my eyes. My mom and dad apologized and promised to greet me back next time and never miss it again.

After the long talk, we finally go to bed having a lighter heart that night.

The next evening, I told myself, “Let’s try.”

“Good night, Ma.”

Ma answered quicker than the quick brown fox, “Good night”.

“Good night, Dad.”

……. ( because he was watching T.V. and was not paying attention again. )

“DAD!” my mom whispered in a hissing voice.

I turned my back from him looking at our bedroom door and I didn’t care anymore if he’ll say it back or not and make another excuse for it.

“Ay! Good night. I’m watching the T.V.”

No. I did not looked back to him. To me, that’s over. No more.

As I walked toward our bed, I can hear my mom scolding my dad in a low voice again.

I slept, with fewwer tears that night telling myself, “It’s never enough.” then, fell asleep.

Nights have passed, and it’s only my sister who greets them ‘good night’.

Maybe my mom noticed that I don’t say ‘good night’  to them anymore. So, she initiates greeting me then. I always politely greet her back ‘good night’. But I already got tired trying to be noticed. And so, greeting ‘good night’ has finally come to an end.

Since then, GOOD NIGHTS never came from me anymore.

Posted in ESSAYS

5 Common Agonies of a Nocturnal Writer

school-days-on-pinterest-whimsical-owl-picasa-and-school-days-iukhgw-clipart
Grabbed from clipartkid.com

Common advice for those who aspire to become a writer is to write down ideas that pop into their head immediately on a paper before it’s too late.

That is exactly what I’m doing right now. It’s already 10:43 P.M. on my clock (Manila Time). My weekday call time is 7:20 A.M. That means, I need to be up as early as five or five thirty in the morning and here I am: still up facing my computer.

To be honest, I am one of those who counts the amount of sleep I’ll get before I completely shut my eyes. And this is one of my agonies as a nocturnal writer.

Here are FIVE common agonies you might experience if you’re a nocturnal writer like me:

  1. Sleep Deprivation You sleep late and wake up early. Health authorities often remind us to get some sleep as much as 7 to 8 hours Every.Single.Night. If your normal sleeping hours only ranges from 5 to 6 hours (because you sleep at twelve midnight and wakes up five in the morning), good luck to your brain cells.
  2. Insomnia Because we are so afraid of the health risks of sleep deprivation, we are trying to train our body clock. Lights off by 9:30 P.M. then lie on your bed. But your eyes just don’t seem to shut. The next thing you’ll know, it’s already two in the morning and you’re still wide awake thinking of things that you could have already put on the paper.
  3. Haggard Face Let’s start with the baggy eyes. Then with the chapped lips. Next, the dry skin. Lastly the gradual sagging of the face. In short, you look like a melting Olaf.
  4. Blank-Headed on Midday Your body is sending you signals that you need to sleep or at least take a nap. But even if you take a power nap, seems like ideas wouldn’t just want to get into your head feeling, well, blank.
  5. The Urge to Write It’s already late and your body wants some rest but your brain is tempted when it sees a pencil and a paper or an open computer. Then, ideas start to rush again as if it has been recharged throughout the day. The next you’ll know, you’re just repeating the cycle over and over again.

We can’t refrain from ideas popping at night. It is also true that thinking and writing at night is a hard habit to break for nocturnal writers. There’s nothing bad in writing at night or at any time of the day. But I think, as one of those nocturnal writers, we need to discipline ourselves and train our brains to have a specific time for writing. If this can be done, I guess we can take  care of our health better and can also become wise time managers.

 

 

Posted in ESSAYS

Did It Mean Anything?

How can a simple touch be quite disturbing in a good way?

Just this morning, I was busy reading and analyzing some sort of things in the library. Just the usual setup where I usually sit, with the librarian and with the same people I usually hang out with at the same hour everyday because we have our same break time period.

Minutes away before our break ends, we were exchanging jokes. I actually forgot what we were joking about earlier. I cracked one which they actually buy while I was busy doing something else. Then, out of nowhere, this guy I am actually always with, touched the tip of my ear. Well, that grabbed my attention. I looked up to him and he was looking. I looked back down again and went on to what I was doing earlier. I was trying to comprehend what it meant.

And so the bell rang. Everyone of us were starting to gather our things to go back to our classrooms. I went ahead of them. While walking at the pathway, I touched the tip of my ear where he touched it, still wondering what was that for.

I actually just met this guy around May this year. He’s a newbie in our school. And so, as we received our class assignment, he was assigned with the same grade level as mine. Since this grade level only have two sections, we both have no choice but to work together most of the time. So he’s sort of like an apprentice but already doing the job. Most of the time we talk about things and eventually became friends now.Other than that, there was nothing else. 

This guy is actually good looking. He’s a fair complexion, lean and well-groomed. Plus, he’s taller than me. Well if you could picture him out, he totally looks fine. Other than being friends, I can’t see him more than that. Maybe as a younger brother since I am a year older than him. 

I honestly think he also looks at me the same way. Now, what I can’t understand is his gesture earlier. Is it me who’s just overthinking about this ( which most girls do, overthinking small stuff) or something else?

But I have to be honest. When I got back to my room, I touched it again. I thought to my self, “Why does it feel nice?”

It’s not lust but I have never imagined that a simple touch would feel good. But, is it really the touch? Or the gesture? 

Posted in ESSAYS

Ang Pagkabuhay ng Ating Wika

SulaTalino

(ni Mikaela L. Paderna)

Ang wika ay isang simbolo ng pagkakaisa ng isang bansa. Ang ating bansa ay di lamang mayaman sa likas ngunit mayaman din ito sa wika. Ang Pilipinas ay binubuo ng isang kapuluan o arkipelago kung saan ay sa bawat pulo ay may sariling dialekto.

Ang tanong paano natin mabubuhay ang ating wika. Ang ating gobyerno ay ginagawa ang kanilang makakaya upang mabigyang halaga ito. Ang Kagawaran ng Edukasyon ay hinihikayat ang mga mag-aaral na gamitin ang wikang Filipino. Sa katunayan sila ay nagpatupad ng isang batas kung saan pinapatupad sa mga mag-aaral na gamitin ang kanilang sariling dialekto (mother tongue). Ito raw ay nakakatulong na maunawaan ng mga mag-aaral ang kanilang mga aralin. Ito ay nakakatulong sa pagpapayaman ng bokabularyo ng wikang Filipino.

Ating makikita sa iba’t ibang social media sites na maging dayuhan ay nagiging interesado sa ating wika. Sa pamamagitan ng pag-upload ng mga…

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Posted in ESSAYS

Word-High July: 30 Beautiful Filipino Words

August is the “Buwan ng Wika” (Month of Language” here in the Philippines. So, allow me to share some of the beautiful words of my heritage. The original author of this blog post also told me that we can still use it as an inspiration for this month though it’s not anymore July. 🙂

A Reading Writer

Banner 1Much like the colors of the skies, every language is beautiful in its own way—the way they sound and how each word fits perfectly in a poem, a story, or a musical piece. And sometimes we find ourselves wishing how delightful it would be if we could learn those languages by heart and use them in our craft.

That is why Maria of Doodles and Scribbles and Rosema of A Reading Writer have invited you to join their July blog event, Word-High July. They have teamed up to give you a whole month worth of prompts and since we are both #ProudlyPinay, these 30 beautiful Filipino words below will serve as the prompt for each day of the month.

Disclaimer: These words and these photos are from a lovely article by BuzzFeed titled “36 Of The Most Beautiful Words In The Philippine Language”. All credits goes to…

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Posted in ESSAYS

ROOM 130

My sister actually told me about this story. 

Her classmate just got his room assignment for this semester. Upon receiving his room assignments, he immediately look for it. There’s one in the sixth floor; one in the annex; another room in another building. He almost succeeded looking for his rooms but not for Room 130. He searched and searched for the room. Tirelessly searching up and down of each building in their campus. Until he reached room 126, steps away from room 130. And so, he counted. Room 127…room 128…room 129 and finally, he found an unexpected dicovery. He returned to the registrar’s office. He spoke to the lady behind the window, ” Excuse me Ma’am, are you sure that this room 130 is my room for this subject?”

“Why, what’s the problem?”

” You actually gave me the room assignment for the canteen.”

“Oh gosh! I’m so sorry for this terrible mistake,” she immediately checked the room assignment and it was supposed to be room 120.

( Canteen would have been nice though😁.)

Posted in ESSAYS

What?!

My Grade 2 pupil once told me this:

 

I know who your boyfriend is.

Then, to my surprise I said this:

                  What?! But I don’t have a boyfriend yet.

              Pupil: What?! You’re already big and you still don’t have a boyfriend?!

Turned out that he’s more surprised than me. (-_-)